Wednesday, March 28, 2012

What Matters Most

I'm sitting here and all the things I love most are in the same room. My son, my hubby, and my cat. Yes, my cat. I can't remember the last time I've felt so overly happy. Maybe at lunch when I threw my dieting Paleo ways out the window and ate a slice or two of pizza. Still, it wasn't as sweet as this.

The last few months I have been completely shocked at how this baby has changed me. I was not expecting this, but I guess having low expectations of motherhood, was better than having high ones. I thought I would hate parenthood. And I'm sure down the road, there will be days that I do. I'm sure down the road (or maybe even tomorrow?) I'll have a rough day and want to quit, but until then I am enjoying the simple things in life. I'll squeeze my son and kiss his chubby cheeks as much as I can today. I'll rock him to sleep and sing in his ear, because today... I love that I'm his mom.

I've always loved kids, but it was hard for me to see myself as a parent. I would watch my friends' kids and absolutely love it, but there was something in me that was afraid of having my OWN kid. Maybe it's the life long responsibility of it all or maybe it's that I didn't want to be the one that sent my own child to therapy because mommy didn't have it together. I don't know, but now... those fears don't scare me anymore. Of course I have doubts and concerns, but Major is so worth it.

Major you are so worth it. UGH! You are the cutest baby!!! I can't get enough of your fat self. You are so, so fat and I love it. It's super cute and super hilarious.

Having this baby has opened my eyes to the more tender things in life. I think I've always been an emotional person and “in touch” with my feelings, but having this child has given new life to so many situations. Because life really is about people and relationships. It really is about faith and love and hope. It really is about the real things instead of the rich things. This sappy post is somewhat ridiculous, but so true right now, because I feel so blessed and so, so in love.

<3 Dominique

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