I won't tell if you won't

Sometimes I have a lot of readers and sometimes I don’t have a lot of readers. The only conclusion I have come to is that my readers are embarrassed to be identified. They don’t want to visit my blog too much or comment because someone might catch them. That’s totally ok…I can totally relate. It’s just like how I’m afraid to be identified while buying tampons at Target, or the kinda nervous I get when I buy a People’s magazine and have to hide it so Chance doesn‘t see me reading “trash.” I understand the whole not wanting to be noticed thing. It’s ok…I’ll be your little blog secret. You just have to promise to keep my secrets…like the time that I bought a 300 puppy and told my parents it was free, or the time I almost pooped my pants when Chance and I went on our second date, or that time I shot that guy…I kid of course, I just stabbed him. I’m KIDDING! Lighten up!

Almost all the blogs I stalk know that I stalk them…there are only a few photography blogs that I’ve visited that I haven’t commented on…but every other blog I read, people know I’m there. EXCEPT this lady. I don’t even really read her blog actually. I saw her on Good Morning America or something like that once and her blog is soooooo popular that it pays for her family to live. She runs advertisements on her blog and it supports her family. After hearing of her success I immediately went to her website to see if I could just copy everything she said so my blog would be popular. I tried to steal her blogging style, and maybe just act like I was really dooce.com. Whatever. The only thing I remember reading is letters she wrote to her 5 year old daughter every month, so I thought huh, that’s gay…but it might work for me. Since I don’t have a daughter, I will write to my only child…Geronimo, my Himalayan cat.

Dear Geronimo,

I remember when you were a wee little cat, actually I'm lying. I don’t remember when you were little because I saved you from the S.P.C.A. and you were already full grown. You looked at me with that snaggle tooth and I knew it was love. When we brought you home you really smelled, but we loved you like our own.

Your butt still really smells just like it did the first day you came home. We wouldn't be the same without you, or that smell.

Oh yea, I almost forgot to thank you for the perfect little "gift" you left us. It was the perfect "accent" to our off white couch. I'm sorry, next time i'll be sure I don't smack you so hard when i find it, but remember, you're a F*&^ing cat.


I love you,
Mom


(I hope someone recognizes those last two sentences)

Now if I get more readers after this post…I will know I did something right.


And this dress was thrifted…
I got it for 1.25 ahhh yea!




And I made this headband tonight SUPER FAST…I LOOOOVVVEE IT!