Thank you Guest Bloggers

I really enjoyed the week of guest bloggers. Thank you Mark(dad), Conlan, Dawn and Chance for participating in my crazy idea. I enjoyed your stuff, and I'm sure my blog readers felt the same. I'm sure it won't be the last time I have something like that on my b-spot.

Now I am back, with a full tummy from Tofurky and other Thanksgiving goodness and I'm ready to get my blog on.

4th and possible last guest, some guy named Chance

Well being the fourth blogger on princess Dominique’s blog is quite an honor. I was hoping to be in the top ten so top five makes me a little teary eyed. It’s nice to know that there are only three other people in her life that she likes more than me.

I was trying to figure out what I should write about for this blog and a few things came to mind:

1. The state of today’s changing global market and the effect the recession is having on the present economy

2. The current situation in the middle east and the ever changing tensions over power and oil

3. The responsibility of the government as it relates to bailouts and financial aid to big business and companies in distress.

I thought a long time about which topic I should choose and then I realized that I know nothing about any of those things. I don’t really even think those things make sense. So I decided to write about reality TV. I have long been a proponent of traditional sitcoms for their unrealistic characters and outlandish story lines. They help you escape real life and make you feel just a little bit better about your slightly neurotic tendencies or small character flaws. Traditional shows help remind us that life isn’t as weird or crazy as we thought and assure us that it’s only TV and people aren’t really like that.

So,WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH REALITY TV? Who cares who is going to be Paris’ next BFF or who Lauren is going on a date with or why Spencer is the biggest loser in the world?! I mean why would someone care that Heidi lost her job at a high profile event planning company in LA because she was drinking while still on the clock? I mean, it was totally Spencer’s fault anyways, if he wouldn’t have shown up everything would’ve been fine.

I really can’t figure out peoples’ fascination with this stuff. Is it their own insecurities that make them feel the need to watch others disgusting displays on television? Or is there some other reason that draws so many seemingly normal and functional individuals to lower themselves to the point that they care if Bikini Cori goes home or why Ashley wants to be friends with a super rich hotel heiress? Come on, why would she want to be her friend anyways, she is totally fake and everything.

This is a fascinating subject to think about; it really makes my brain hurt to think about the millions of people being sucked into the black hole of Reality TV. Like the black hole that drugs create in ones life, much like the lives of those on Celebrity Rehab. What is Gary Busey’s deal anyways? And why is Steven Adler’s mom in such denial about the emotional pain she caused her son when she ditched him at birth? And are any of these people actual celebrities?
Ok I’m done with this blog, The Hills is starting!

http://chancejamesblog.com
http://chancejamesphotography.com

Welcome Miss Dawn, my 3rd Guest

I swore I would never be one of those bizarre women that would ever buy balls as a piece of home furnishing. If you are one of those women, please forgive me for calling you bizarre...if it helps, I am now one of you.

I can specifically remember a point in my life when I went to the home of a pastor from my old church and there smack dab in the middle of their dining room table was a bowl filled with black balls, white balls, and black and white-striped balls. It was seriously the most ridiculous thing I had seen. "What's up with the balls?" I thought to myself. "No way are there actually people paying money for these things!"

I suppose my source of shock and awe was in the fact that a decorative ball really served no purpose other than to be looked at...and to take up space, of course. You can't play with them. I mean, you couldn't do what you normally do with balls (of an athletic nature) with these fancy schmancy jail-garbed looking balls (of a 'decorative' nature). What a tease. "Here's a bowl full of balls, but just for looking-at purposes." Doesn't that just seem mean for somebody to do that?
And why is it just balls that I had such a problem with? There are so many other decorative items out there that serve no other purpose than to just be looked at. For some reason, these didn't irk the crap out of me the way balls did. The ones that come to mind are fake flowers, paintings, metal sconces (that's probably a new word for a lot of people...go educate yourself why don't you!), and a whole mess of things that can be added to make a home feel homier, kitschy, or just plain grandmotherly.

However, I think that people who enter a home can be drawn to other decorations more so than they can be to decorative balls, much like I was. Flowers can help one feel a connection with nature and encourage an appreciation for God's creation. Paintings and photographs can invoke certain emotions, personal memories, or just cause the viewer to get lost in its contents. Metal sconces can serve as candleholders, providing lighting and an overall warm ambiance.
But what in the world does a ball do for you?!

It doesn't help you connect to nature, nor does it invoke any feelings from you. You can't recollect any special or personal memories from looking at it, nor does it help create light or warmth. And yet, here I am spending hard-earned money to buy them just so they can sit on my coffee table in a decorative bowl.

We were going to have family and the Bogs over for a birthday barbecue for yours truly this past Sunday. I had been feeling like our living room had been very dreary and very...beige (beige carpet, beige couch, beige fireplace) and white walls. The only color was from these beautiful green pillows that my family from Taiwan gave me. I went to Target and found a table runner for the coffee table that matched these pillows exactly and happened to see the green balls pictured above I felt so silly buying them since I vowed never to become one of those women.
I bought a couple more pillows from Home Goods that matched the green perfectly and then painted one of the walls in the living room (the wall is a lighter shade of beige now, but it actually looks pretty good).

When Justin got home from work, I was so surprised to hear him say that he really liked the green balls. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately?), this just reinforced that my purchase of decorative balls is a good thing, not to be considered bizarre in any way.

For anyone who has or is considering getting decorative balls to furnish your home with, may I just say...mad props to you. And for those of you who think decorative balls are a waste of money or look silly, that's fine too. Give me your address and I'll send you some. Decorative bowl included.

This is Conlan, 2nd GB

I've never been a guessed blogger before. I left clues, but I never thought anyone would figure it out. But Dominique did. Who would have guest?

I only met Dome once in RL (that is nerd-talk for "Really, Like"). Her husband and my dear friend Random (whom I call Randy) was doing some kind of robot-wars thing for ArtHop. I don't know much about jumping, but I think his theme was "birds flying in green paint". Of robots, of course. I knew immediately that my cyborg identity might be discovered by the AI-detectors in the other robots and they might try to attack me (Note: All of my intelligence is organic; however, some of my lower functions, affection, empathy, vision, etc. are based on a network of nanoprocessors embedded under my left thumbnail). So I knew I had to get out of there quick.

"Birds are dangerous!" I said, and I walked outside. "Alfred Hitchcock!"

Most people understood this to mean I was not a blogger. Because a blogger would have said, "Alfred Hitchcock blog blog blog!" But I was too clever for that. However, I am incapable of complete dishonesty in this way, I am like a magical sitar ("I only speak the truth!") so I inserted an ingenious puzzle into my valediction: If you take the "B" from "birds", the "L" from "Alfred", the "O" from "dangerous" or "Hitchcock", the "G" from "dangerous", and the "ird" from "bird", what do you get? "Blog, ird!" Clever, right?

So anyway, I avoided catastrophe for the time being, but soon I saw an old Native American shaman that I knew by the name of Chuck.

"Hey, Chuck," I said.

"Hi, Conlan," he said.

Neither of us said anything after that. We just stood there looking at each other. It was awkward.

Which is what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you ever just see someone you kind of know, and you say "hi," and then just sort of stand there (or sit, if you're lazy)? Why do people do that? It's weird.

So, like I was saying, my name is Conlan. I'm a guest blogger. Not "guessed". You thought I was stupid, didn't you? But I'm not. I was just kidding. In fact, I'm not even a cyborg (please, please, please do NOT look under my left thumbnail; also, don't bring destroyer robots around me).

Anyway, if I want you to take one thing away from this experiment, it is this: Never give up on your dreams. EVER. Unless they are stupid dreams, in which case you should give up on them and feel bad for being an idiot.

***

Conlan is unemployed and lives with his mother. He makes even less sense in person and is lacking in many other areas (this is not a dirty euphemism! I mean, like, ambition and wardrobe, OK?). If any attractive, single ladies are interested in getting to know him better, they may contact him through his website, This is Conlan (dot com).

Mark Mayfield, First Guest

WOW! I can’t believe that I’m Dominique’s very first guest blogger. Out of thousands of entries, Dominique chose mine! What an honor!

And, by the way, if any of you bitter losers think that she chose my blog just because I’m her father, I want you to know that my entry was accompanied by the following note to make sure that I didn’t receive preferential treatment:

Dear Dominique (a.k.a “The Joy of My Life”),

Here is my entry for your first guest blog. While making your decision, please try to forget that I am your loving, devoted father. Try to forget that I’m the man who rocked you to sleep when you were just a baby (a perfect, beautiful baby). Try to forget that I’m the man who bragged incessantly when you got the lead part in your first school play. Try to forget that I’m the man who wore ragged jeans and old tennis shoes so we could afford to pay for the braces that produced your wonderful smile. And try to forget that I’m the man who walked you down the aisle, and tearfully gave you away to that guy who kinda looks like the star of “My Name is Earl.” Or maybe Johnny Knoxville.

Yes, sweetie, I know that it will be almost impossible to forget those things, but you must try to be fair to the other entrants, most of whom don’t even know you that well and have never done a thing for you, and probably say bad things about you behind your back. In fact, I KNOW they say bad things about you because I’ve heard them.

Much Love Forever and Ever and Ever,

“Daddy”

Now, before proceeding with my amazing guest blog, I want to thank my daughter for this amazing opportunity to address her huge audience, and I do mean HUGE. I didn’t fully comprehend the immense popularity of Dominique's blog until I looked at these impressive figures from her recent readership survey:

--Dominique’s blog has approximately 1.1 million daily readers, which is slightly more than the Los Angeles Times and WAY more than the 1 daily reader my blog has. (Hi, mom!)

--9 out of 10 world leaders consult Dominique’s blog before committing troops to global hotspots.

--8 out of 9 high school English teachers regularly use Dominique’s blog to teach their students the proper technique for using the words "basically," "random," “duh,” and "wicked."

--7 out of 8 scientists carefully scan Dominique’s blog each day for signs of life on other planets.

--6 out of 7 pastors frequently read Dominique’s blog for answers to the most perplexing questions facing Christianity. (For example, is it okay for Christians to use the word "effin"?)

--5 out of 6 writers for “The Office” read Dominique’s blog to get ideas for future episodes.

--4 out of 5 dentists recommend sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum.

These amazing demographics go on and on, but I'll stop here in the interest of saving time. (After all, it would take hours to finally get to the last interesting readership fact, which is that 999 out of 1,222 snaggle-toothed persian cats read Dominique's blog before coughing up hairballs.)

Now that I've dutifully sung the praises of Dominique's blog, I'll tell you why you should occasionally visit my blog. You should read my blog because it occasionally features some pretty amusing posts and links to some pretty funny columns, which happen to have been written by yours truly. You see, a long time ago, in a previous life (or so it seems), I wrote humor columns for newspapers and regional magazines, and, yes, I even got paid to do it. In fact, in her early years, Dominique provided plenty of material for several of my columns, including these:

http://markmayfield.homestead.com/files/ZAUC.htm
http://markmayfield.homestead.com/files/XDNF.htm
http://markmayfield.homestead.com/files/RYBO.htm
http://markmayfield.homestead.com/files/OWHS.htm
http://markmayfield.homestead.com/files/NDXH.htm
http://markmayfield.homestead.com/files/KVWH.htm
http://markmayfield.homestead.com/files/LYKQ_.htm

At this point, it’s tempting to include a shameless plug for www.MarksColumns.com, where you can find more than 130 of my favorite published columns. But this is neither the time nor the place to shamelessly plug www.MarksColumns.com. So instead of shamelessly plugging www.MarksColumns.com, I will simply invite you to visit my blog, www.MarkMayfield.blogspot.com, where I’m pretty sure you can find a link to www.MarksColumns.com

Well, I don’t want to overstay my welcome as Dominique’s first guest blogger, so I’ll conclude today’s post by sharing a few words of wisdom from the incomparable Jack Handey, who once said, “When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if not…mmmmm, boy!”

So it starts

Welcome guest bloggers! It is starting now. I already have four guest bloggers lined up, but i want more. So keep 'em coming! My first guest blogger is Mark Mayfield, my dad. Welcome Mark, the blogspot is yours.

Guest Bloggers

Since my blog is SOOOO POPULAR (no), I decided I will have guest bloggers for the next week or so. What’s a guest blogger you might ask?

Well, my dearest dominiquerose.blogspot.com faithful reader, a guest blogger is much like a guest star on a day time talk show, like Oprah, or Ellen…maybe even Dr. Phil, but probably not Dr. Phil. I will be opening my blog to you.

But Dominique, what does opening your blog mean?, you say.

Well, devoted dominiquerose.blogspot.com fanatic, I am asking you to write a blog, send it to me and I will post it on my blog.

The point of this whole thing is to allow you to get more clicks, views, readers, or whatever. I’ve noticed that when I view my friends’ blogs they have a blogroll much like mine. But when I visit their blog I rarely ever click on their friends’ links because I don’t know them, and unless I know they have something interesting or entertaining to say, I don’t read their blog. But what if I did know they were super hilarious, or wickedly smart, or owned a photography business? Huh? I would probably click on their name. So give someone a taste of your delightful bloggishness through my blog and you might have some new readers.

So who’s up for it? I will be posting a guest blogger everyday starting this Tuesday. (maybe twice a day depending on how this goes) for about a week (depending on how this goes). If you would like to be a guest blogger, email me @ dominiquerosejames@gmail.com. Send me your blog address and the blog you want me to post.

OK, here are the rules.

1) There are no rules, except that you have to somehow mention how cleverly awesome I am. Even if it’s just a sentence, it needs to be done. Come on! It is still MY blog. Duh.

15 things you don't know about me

1) I should wear these glasses 87% of the time 100% of the time while driving. But I don’t.



2) I was obsessed with the original Parent Trap movie when I was little. After I saw it I thought it was possible for my mom to birth a twin for me, that would come out my same age and look like me, but only until I was age 10. Then the deal was off, I couldn’t have a twin anymore.

3) I will tell you I hate Delilah’s radio show. I’ll even talk bad about her, but in secret I listen to her and sometimes I cry at the stories the callers share.

4) Don’t ask me to go ice-skating because my biggest fear in life is falling on the ice, and while laying there, having someone skate by and slice me in the eye with the sharp blade on their skate. I’m not kidding.

5) Speaking of ice, if I could just eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would be ice. If I had one more thing, it would be sprinkles cupcakes.

6) I’m okay admitting I have an extremely addictive personality. I admit that if I like something, I don’t just like it…I become obsessed. Just like last month when I found out McDonalds had ice coffee for a dollar, I had to go everyday, even if I didn’t want it…it’s only a dollar!

7) I want to be just like Martha Stewart (besides the jail part)

8) I plan on completely living naturally within the next year or two. (it’s definitely a process)

9) When I have children, I want them to be girls, because I would be devastated if I had boys.

10) I write songs in my head. Then I sing them to Chance.

11) The only person that has heard me sing for reals is Chance.

12) I hate Paris Hilton, but I kinda want to be her new BFF

13) I talk to myself. A lot.

14) I’m extremely complex, but I can still find a friend in anyone.

15) Being married to Chance is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Mac Daddy

Chance and I recently got a Mac, and we are both obsessed with it. I'm bored because Chance isn't here. He went to some concert or something. So here's a picture of our new baby.



And here's the cover I made for it. I finally got my sewing machine out, hopefully I will start using it more often. The cover is kinda wrinkly, but I didn't have time to iron it.



Oh and here's my new journal. I go through journals super duper fast. So I’m always on the look out for new ones. I collect them. How cute are my owls? I love them.

Let's give it one more try, shall we?

I've advertised for my dad's blog before, but he only kept it up for about one week. Well, this time he claims to be devoted to his new blog adventure, as well as twitter and facebook. So read his blog, follow him on twitter, and add him on facebook. He can actually be entertaining, of course not as entertaining as me, but then again, let's be serious, not many people can...am I right? ha.

Also, If the links don't work to my dad's blog, just visit http://centralvalleyfitness.blogspot.com or click "My Dad, Mark" under my blogroll

Also, I've been vegetarian for two and a half weeks, and I don't think I’ve even noticed the change.

Also, have a good day.

Turtle Necks

I realized today that I am part of that 1% of people who really enjoy wearing turtle necks. I've always liked them, and most people hate them, but I like them... and I'm not ashamed. I love how they hug my neck.

Also, remember my blog about being asked to take your shoes off? Well some blogger from the UK found me and was disappointed to hear my feelings toward the subject. In fact, he has a whole blog devoted to leaving your shoes at the door. Um...there are no words. Just check it out yourself. Shoes off at the door, please.

I've missed you my precious blog

Chance and I have been so extremely busy that I’ve been neglecting my blog, and I miss it. It’s weird I haven’t blogged in awhile because, well, I’m pretty much obsessed with it. Anyway, a lot has happened in the past few weeks. Chance and I celebrated our one year anniversary, we partied for Halloween, we moved out of our first home together, and we’ve been completely crazy trying to build our photography business. But everything has been good, and we are thankful. We can’t believe we have been married for one year already! Woot woot. I’m raising the roof right now, ok no I’m not. But can you believe it? One year already?! Wowsers.

Marriage has been an interesting journey. It definitely hasn’t been easy, but it’s well worth the struggle. Some people will tell you the first year of marriage is the hardest, some will tell you it’s the easiest, some people will just tell you to get divorced and others will act like their marriage has always been so perfect they don‘t understand why you‘re so screwed up. Well don’t listen to other people because they have no idea what your marriage is like. I mean, it’s always good to have advice or counsel of a trusted friend or mentor, but not everyone is entitled to say what they want about your marriage. I feel really strongly about this because I had all these false expectations on what marriage should be because I based it on what everyone else told me. I thought I should do things a certain way. Some people said I shouldn’t share too much with my husband or I need to make sure I learn how to be an amazing cook, or make sure the house is spotless, or be sure I’m in charge of the finances . Whatever. None of that has made my marriage what it is, and I am sooo thankful. Chance and I have been blessed to have many trials this past year. We’ve lost family, lost friendships, lost pets, lost jobs, struggled to start a business, tried to move to Hawaii, struggled with finances, moved into my parents house, questioned our marriage, and basically felt like the whole world was against us. But we are thankful because we wouldn’t change a thing. And I say this with confidence because we are so much stronger now. With every struggle, we’ve gotten a deeper understanding of each other. It’s exciting and rewarding to know that we will be here for each other no matter what. It’s been tough, and we don’t always agree, but we try to understand each other the best we can, and even if we don’t understand…it doesn’t change our love for each other. The thing I love about Chance is that he is so willing to be here for me. He wants to be better for me and he cares for my dreams and my desires. He protects my heart. That’s something so priceless in a person; to truly care so much about someone else. Not many people honestly experience that. Baby, I love you, and there’s no one else that’s better for me, than you. Happy Anniversary!

Oh and if you want to view the slideshow I made for Chance of our past year together click HERE. Or visit http://chancejamesblog.com

Oh, and thank GOD the election is over. I’m sick of being told how I need to think and who I need to vote for. I’m pretty sure my cat is smarter than Obama and McCain combined anyway.