Spirituality

I know it's long, and if you're like me, you scroll through blogs and if it's longer than two paragraphs you don't read it. But it's actually about something other than my pathetic life. kinda.

My blogs are generally light hearted. Sometimes they can get a little serious, but I never go real deep with them. That's because I don't think that many people would be able to understand my brain. I wouldn't call myself smart; I'm just a really intense thinker about certain things. Sometimes it's not a good thing. I'm not that great with my words, so when I try to explain myself I sound like a crack head. And because of my weird mind, I'm afraid if I wrote serious blogs too much, a lot of my anonymous readers might report me for having some kind of drug problem.

Like, for example, Chance is obviously one of the main people I have legitimate, thought-provoking conversations with. (I love serious conversations by the way. Don't get me wrong, I love random and dumb conversations too, but serious ones are so meaningful because you just learn and share and explore so much more with the other person, love it). Anyways, sometimes when I'm talking to Chance about my thoughts he usually just raises his eyebrows and goes, "babes, I'm really trying to understand you, but how in the world do you get this from that?" or he'll go, "umm, ok ok, I can kiinnnddda see where you're going…"
…and I know he doesn't get it.

So basically what I'm saying is that if you don't understand what I'm talking about with this whole spirituality blog, it's ok. I'll try not to be super deep, or crazy or weird, I just reaaalllyyy want to talk about it. And I reaalllyyy want feedback, because stuff like this gets me all excited, because I love to hear what other people believe, and think and all that jazz.

Here it goes, ahh…deep breath…

Disclaimer-this is my opinion, I don't assume that I know everything about every religion or way of life, because I don't. That would be presumptuous. I also don't want anyone to assume that because they don't agree with me, they are correct. I encourage you as well as everyone to explore and find something to believe in bigger than yourself. Educate yourself and continue explore.

So I overheard someone talking about spirituality. I know what you're thinking…eve's dropping on someone's ideas of religion isn't exactly blog worthy, BUT maybe it is my friends. I've actually wanted to write about it for awhile and this incident kinda reminded me so…there.

Anyways, so this person was talking and said,

"I'm more into spirituality. I believe we all are connected, like we are all this energy within the universe. I don't judge anyone's choices on religion; I mean whatever makes you happy. I think we are all looking for the same goal in the end. Whatever works for you religiously is fine. I think everyone's goal in the end is just to be happy. So whatever makes you happy"

Now, haha. Couple things,

1) I overheard this conversation like a Nosey Rosey so I didn't get a chance to even ask the questions I would want to ask
2) I want to be sensitive to her beliefs. I want to be sensitive to everyone's beliefs for that matter so I don't want to make this some kind of debate. Because if that's what sharing your 'religion' was about…no one would get anywhere.

I would have loved to have a good talk with her though. Like I would have loved to go down to the Revue in tower with her and buy her a coffee (because coffee is really cheap there) and just talk. I love hearing about why people believe what they believe, and what has brought them to that point. Is it their culture? Is it personal adventure? A mix of both? Or is it divine intervention? I would have loved to ask her exactly what she meant by "energy in the universe" or "just to be happy." I would have loved to get at the root of the belief.

But I didn't get to do any of those things. I didn't get to talk to her about anything. I just overheard a conversation. I don't know too much about spirituality. So I thought I would look it up. I did a little research. If you don't know me that well, or even if you do know me well…what you might not know is that I read A LOT on the internet. I'm somewhat obsessed. Here's a few things I learned about spirituality from what seemed to be reputable sites.

Ideas about spirituality
- We are trying to find our true selves in the world of who we are
- We are all connected
- Your outward self is different than your inward self
- Meditation is used for finding inner self
- Religion isn't much a factor (all religions welcome)
- The goal is to find joy and inner peace within your true self

Again, I'm not an expert on this, so I can’t really go into the depths of what spirituality is; that's why I want feedback. It was interesting to read about and I discovered that there are many different ways to practice and define spirituality, or so I think???

Of course I'm going to have things to say, I mean…don't I always? Haha. I'm going to be honest, but I want to be sensitive to others beliefs.
So just to start, I'm gonna write some, and then throw out questions.

When I started reading about spirituality it made me feel really weird. I felt like I was five again and my mom was kissing my bloody elbow and telling me it was gonna be okay. Basically like someone was lying to me. Like someone was telling me the shot the doctor was about to give me wasn't going to hurt when really it hurt like a mofo and it was sore for the next two days.

I feel that way about religion today; that people want to hear that mom will kiss their elbow and it will magically stop the bleeding. They like finding some set of easy rules to follow, (much like spirituality) so they can feel good about themselves to distract from pain…or at least masking it for awhile.

STOP.

DON'T EVEN!

If you think I'm trying to have you say the Jesus prayer right now, I'm not. Just because I consider myself a believer doesn't mean I'm gonna shove bible theology down your throat. This isn't a blog telling people to love Jesus, because I know that you won't love something until you experience it. I didn't. I can't even explain Jesus. I mean, if I told you, "hey believing in God is better than spirituality and budda or whatever, because in the bible people kill and rape each other and God talks to people and throws someone in a giant fish, then Jesus starts writing weird words in the sand and picks weirdos for his friends and hangs out with prostitutes…"

…yea…I don't think you would want to believe in that either…so let's just stop there.

But the point of this blog is so you can better understand yourself. To allow yourself to think about what it is you want from your life. I know I'm getting really mushy, and it's becoming a little uncomfortable at this point, but bare with me.

Let's come back to this idea of spirituality. If the goal of it is to 'find our true self' and 'just be happy' what does that look like? What does that even mean? While I was reading about spirituality many of the websites talked about just being at ‘peace.’ It made the goal of peace sound so easy to achieve. All you have to do is be happy, and co-exist. There wasn’t much historical background, or theology to it (at least from what I’ve learned about the subject) and there isn’t any kind of consequence for anything really.

I think one of my biggest questions for people that call themselves spiritualists would be…

Where’s your hope? (think about this one)

And if that hope is in yourself, and you are counting on yourself to become happy, how’s it working for you? Can you keep that up your entire life?

I was confused about this. I’ve been confused about spirituality for a loooong time. And I still am. Spiritualists take everything from everything. And by that I mean, they want to be one with the universe or world to become their true selves so they believe in Budda, Jesus, Kabala, etc. I don’t understand how you can believe in all those things if one contradicts the other? That would make me a little nervous.

I don’t really know why I felt like I needed to write this blog, but I have felt it for a looooong time. I think it might be because I’m hearing more and more about spirituality. And it drives me nuts. It doesn’t drive me nuts because people are practicing this, but because I feel that it’s the new trend. A few month ago everyone was Buddhist, and a year before that everyone had to have their Kabala bracelet. Before that it was cool to be Jewish like Adam Sandler and everyone remembers the Jesus is my homeboy t-shirt. I’m just tired of this disaster.

What is being happy? And why is that your goal? Does the girl I so rudely overheard really know what she believes, or where she belongs? Do you even know where you stand?

Yes. I love Jesus. And I know where I put my hope, but I‘m not an expert on the bible. I know my God, but I'm not an expert on the universe. The only thing that turns me off is people that act like they have it together. I think that we do need to co-exsist, but in that we need to find truth. Because without truth we are lost and if we're lost how can we help another find their way? Let’s continue to talk so that we can encourage each other to greater understanding of who they truly are and where they might place their hope.

Love to hear thoughts on anything related to religion, spirituality, or the office season five.

Privates

GRRROOOOOSSSSS!!!

you're sick. i hope you didn't think this blog was about something nasty ya perv.

just wanted to let ya'll know my myspace profile is private now because i've been getting weirdo friend requests left and right. you know the kind i'm talking about. It's the 17 year-old high school guy with only one picture on his profile and his top friend is Tom. And he only has like 3 other friends. But the sickest part about it is that you KNOW on the other side of that computer is this sweaty, fat, 60 year old, hairy, perv that's looking at my profile. oh my gosh...i almost threw up.

OOHHH and those friend requests that are like the girl that has her boobs up to her chin and she's sitting on her bed and i'm suppose to think that she just wants to leave me nice comments and read my pointless blogs? i don't think so sweet cheeks.

Maybe if i go private those wackos will keep their privates to themselves for a night.

That's what she said

Ok, so I’m fickle. I’m changing my blog name again, but for good reason. It’s a more mature reason this time. It’s not just because I want to sound funny, or get some deep point across; it’s because I’m growing into something new, (I know that sounds super deep, but it’s not). I feel God changing the way I look at things. And I feel good about that.

I enjoyed uncensored. It served me well. It was fun to rant and rave for a while, and I’m sure I will still do that, but in a new sort of way. I’ve found out that being Dominique, means being honest. That’s how I’ve always been. It’s just me. I’ve always felt the need to be real with others, the need to be honest with myself and the need to be honest with my God. But sometimes in my life that honestly or realness or “I don’t care what you think” attitude, is mistaken for bitchiness, arrogance, or disrespect. To be truthful…I’ve actually never liked offending people. In fact, I rather not offend people, can you believe that? I know, weird. Lots of people wouldn’t believe that from reading some of my blogs. But really, it’s the truth.

The problem I found with the uncensored title (besides the fact that it just sounds like it should be on the cover of a porn film), is that it was juvenile. I found out that in some of my blogs, even though I was honest, I wasn’t necessarily being sensitive to certain people’s feelings. Get it? It’s kinda hard to explain because it’s a fine line to indicate.

It’s crazy, I’ve noticed in the past few weeks that a lot more people are claiming to be ‘honest’ and ‘real’ just so they can rant. They think it’s ok to say exactly what’s on their mind, even if people’s feelings are at risk, as long as their being ‘real.’ And I think that’s sad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m guilty of it too. I know it sounds weird.
Like for example, if your friend is obsessed with black nail polish and you’re all…

“Grrrroooosssss, I hate black nail polish! Hey, I’m just being real. I’m just being honest…”
Yea, you’re being honest, but where does that get you? Do you think your friend will want to have a conversation about it?
No. She’ll be pissed and want to sock you in the face. You hurt her feelings you dummy.

The reason I think being honest and being sensitive to people’s feelings is a fine line is because so many factors play into it. If we really want to start to understand each other, we need to be more sensitive in the way we say things. We need to be gentle in the how we come across to one another and make sure we leave room for discussion. Never make honesty about truth, always make it about opinion; because what might be ‘honesty’ to one person might not be truth to the other. Never make it about debate, always make it a conversation. Yes, be real until the cows come home, but learn something from one another.

This has been my biggest lesson this year. I just want to share, learn and grow with people. Always.


A lot of people know how I feel about being genuine, so they automatically share their thoughts about it, saying things to me like,
“Oh I just can’t stand fake people! I just have to be honest. I mean, I always have to say what’s on my mind, you know me…I’m just me. I gotta be real!” And blah blah blah…”

And I sit there thinking…I wonder if they think they’re an accepting person? Because that’s really what it’s about. It’s about accepting people where they’re at, instead of completely rejecting them with our honestly, because if we do that, we leave no room for ourselves to progress.

Man, I’m tired…sorry if this blog doesn’t make sense.

P.S. - I’ve been reading about Spirituality online, I’m gonna blog it FOR SURE, and I want feedback, because I have questions!!!!!!!!!

I think I have an anger problem

I guess that's what happens when your family are crazy, loud, Italians.

oh those Donatos.

weekends are tight i guess

(Katie, that title is for you).

This weekend was fun. I have some pictures, but i'm too lazy to post them...maybe i'll post them later, umm maybe not.

I feel like a new woman, or i feel like i'm on the verge of becoming this new woman. I know that sounds dramatic and it is. But you know when you are going through significant change, and you can just feel yourself making progress? yea...that's how i feel. and it's a good thing, so far. I don't exactly know where the road is headed, but i know i'm not going to stay the same, and i'm happy about that, because i think as humans we all need to grow, or be renewed somehow.

The highlight of my weekend was probably hanging out with my cousins slash getting my hair done. I know, getting my hair done is a little vain, but i look like a rock star. No really, my hair color looks like something Avril Lavigne would do. it's rad, i'm not gonna lie. But it's only because my friend slash stylist Jenny Pauline is the most amazing thing to ever touch my hair since Jesus.

On Friday night I went to Elbow Room with my cousins WITHOUT my husband. Can you BELIEVE THAT? Besides like regular girls nights, or lunch with old friends, that's the first time i've gone out without Chance. I got to visit with old friends, stare at drunk people and try to avoid creepy old men. It was a lot of fun, but i always have fun when i'm with my fools (cousins). They crack me up. But i also got to thinking, umm...i miss chance-it's not the same making jokes about other people without him, or talking to old friends without introducing him, or telling creepy old men i'm married without having him on my arm. I did have a lot of fun, but i remembered exactly why the Elbow Room scene isn't one i want to hit up every night.

Saturday was fuuunnnn. We went out to dinner with our friend Chris and his cute little girl. Oh and I had my friend Jenny's little baby Phoenix, Oh and I went to the Mac store and drooled over iphones and Mac computers and ipods. Someone get me a Mac.

Also, over the weekend, i overheard someone talking about spirituality and religion and everyone wanting the same goal out of life. I will for sure be writing a blog about that. FOR SURE.

Anyways, now I am bored. Chance is painting because he has a HUUUUUGGGGEEEE art show coming up. PLEASE come out and support my man on OCTOBER 2nd. It's a THURSDAY for art hop. He is doing some INCREDIBLE new stuff. like...i want to faint. he's basically amazing. it's downtown and i will give out more info when i know exactly where it is. have a great Sunday.

Who are you?

ok, so i started blogging because i love to journal and since blogging is like an online journal i thought i would try it out; turns out...i've become obsessed. I still regular journal, because if i didn't have that-i would for sure be lost, but blogging is my new addiction, it's kinda like when text messaging first came out. that was a very good day for me.

Anyway, so i never really expected many people to read my blog...really. i didn't think i would get many views or have people message me and tell me that they enjoyed what i wrote, (because let's be serious, i don't really write about anything extremely exciting). But, as time moved on, i have collected a decent amount of faithful readers, and i'm flattered. Anyone would be. I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, but to simply ask you...who are you?

I have this program where i can tell where my readers come from, how often they visit, how long they stay on my blog, etc. People from many different states and cities are faithful to good ol' uncensored...especially Colorado. Who are you? Don't think we've met. Don't think a lot of us have met and you know my weird stories… hummm..creepy, but cool? Would love to meet ya!

I can take it

So I’m in this bible study with my home girls. They are seriously so precious to me and have such a huge chunk of my little heart. I think everyone needs to be in a bible study...or something like it. I really don't care if you don't even know how to spell Jesus. Get in a small group, or a life group or whatever you want to call it...they are amazing. You don't have to be Christain to join, but it's a great place to explore what you believe. It sounds reaaaalllly weird and scary because you think you're gonna go there and be surround by people that pray all the time in a weird language or something, but it's not like that. It's a place where you can bring all of yourself to people you can trust. You can discuss your struggles, issues and mistakes as well as triumphs and have others rejoice with you. It's a place where you can feel comfortable finding out what you believe. You get to discuss super deep questions like what the hell is predestination? To…who’s bringing next week’s snack? And even more loaded questions like who is God? It’s badical. I know I’m sounding wacko..but bible studies rock my face off. They are awesome.

Soooo, if anyone out there has never been to a bible study or even been to church, message me or my husband, it would be fun to have you join one of our studies.

Anyway, this last bible study I felt really weird for some reason, I won’t go into all the things God’s been showing me because it would be a really cracked out blog, but I just want to know what you think of me. Even if you don’t know me. What do you see? What’s my vibe? What’s your first impression of me? And if you know me well, what do you think about me? If you see me, or when you talk to me…do you think I’m loving, or do I come off annoyed or something. I can’t explain why I’m asking this. But I can take straight up answers. Thanks for the honesty.

If you're trying to be my friend...

..send me a message.

For some reason, I always have friend requests when I sign into myspace, but when I click on it...no one is there. There isn’t anything in my inbox. I don't know if someone likes making me feel lame, so they request me and then delete their request or what. But if you are actually trying to be my friend, just know that I’m NOT rejecting you, -i just don't know who you are.

It also might just be a glitch in the system and I’m just taking this too far so I can feel good about myself or something, but if it's not...whoever you are my dear friend, just send me a message and I will request you…that is, if I want to. haha.
okie dokie.

Chance and I just got done shooting a wedding today for 12 hours. Congrats Dawn and Justin!
We are soooooo spent. Check our photo blog soon.

Urban Outfitters reminds me of Salvation Army

I fancy Urban Outfitters. I really do. Urban Outfitters reminds me a lot of the Salvation Army. And I love the Salvation Army, and any thrift store really. At Urban, it's like going to a thrift store where you are guaranteed to find something really cool that's old or vintage, (but it's really not old or vintage of course) and you get to 'bring it back in style' after you pay the jacked up price of the fake item you're investing in. So it's basically a place that trendy people can go to act like they actually take time to thrift shop, but they really don't. It's a super smart business.

Another thing, I love going into Urban because it doesn't matter if you look like a slob, because well...that's the trend in that store. I even had really bad B.O. and i wasn't ashamed because i'm sure plenty of the people in there hadn't showered either. You know the look i'm talking about. it's the look that you see everywhere. That grunge look. the mis-match look. the 'i just threw this on, but i really planned it out for three hours from the urban magazine, look.' it looks something like this…






I know that look well. But BEFORE this was a hit. I’m not trying to say oh I’m so cool, but I don’t think I’ve ever matched in my entire life. Nor have I ever tried to look ‘put together’ all the time. BUT the funniest thing about this whole urban look is that I think kids are taking it a little too far and now they allllll look the EXACT same. There were like 6 girls in urban that were wearing their hair the same, makeup, hat, shoes. Weird.

Anyway, It might sound like I’m ranking on urban, but i admit i like most of the style of the store, but mostly because it's classic and it was done before. So urban you win.
I still managed to buy some radical sunglasses there today. ahhh they are so much fun!